dickfiguresfanonfandomcom-20200214-history
Attack of The Spider.
A huge ass spider attacks and has to be stopped. Dear God help us. Transcript (Don is at her place sitting on the couch, flipping through channels. When someone knocks on the door.) Don: who is it? voice: (sarcastically) The tooth fairy. Don: (gets up to look through the peep hole) Oh. (Don opens the door and a turquoise figure comes in) Don: Hay, Jacob. Jacob: 'sup. Don: you could have told me it was you. Jacob: but I didn't. Don: So, you're here to "borrow" 50$ because your car ran out of gas and you don't have any money with you. Jacob: Stop reading my fucking- Don: mind. Jacob: Just give me the money. Don: okay fine, I'll get my purse, be right back. (Don walking into a dark room to get her money but starts to hear a sound.) Don: hello? (The sound gets louder) Fuck.. fuck... fuck.... (Don turns around and a shadow of something big falls on her face, which now has a shocked expression.) Holly fuck. (Don runs out of the room to Jacob. ) Jacob: Don, you okay? Don: (with a stunned expression. ) it... was.. huge.. Jacob: (laughs) That's what she said. Don: This is no joke! I Just saw a fucking enormous spider in there! Jacob: spider? (Laughs) aw, man. Let me kill it. After all, men have to protect women from bugs. Don: DON'T GO IN THERE! Jacob: Pff! Its just a little insect I'll be fine! Don: first of all spiders are arachnids not incests, and secondly it is NOT LITTLE. Jacob: Whatever! (Jacob goes into the room with Don following. ) Don: we gotta get outta here! Jacob: So, where's the huge spider? (an eight foot tall spider creeps up behind Jacob) Don: Behind you.. Jacob: (Turns around) HOLLY FUCK ASS SHIT! (Runs away with Don following) (Time lapse, Blue is walking down the street when Don and Jacob run past him.) Don: RUN FOR IT DUDE! Blue: Huh? (Turns around to see the spider.) What the fuck! (Runs away, but Don grabs him and pulls behind a building.) What the hell is- Don: stay quite. Blue: (whispering) Just tell me what that thing is. Don: (Sarcastically) A bunny. Blue: I'm serious. Don: Oh wait, I think I remember you, you're Red's friend right? Blue: more like babysitter. Jacob: Dudes, this is my Hope and Allen's place, we could hide out here. Don: okay. Blue: what I can just go to some random person's house. Don: fine then you stay here and get eaten by the spider. Blue: okay, okay, I'm coming. Don: Good. (Time lapse, Blue, Jacob, and Don are all outside an apartment) Don: (knocks on the door) anyone home? Voice: Don, that you? Don: Yes! NOW LET US IN! Voice: okay gosh! (a light purple figures opens the door.) Don: Allen! I've never been so fucking happy to see your stupid haircut! Allen: Stupid? Jacob: get over it ya little pussy. Allen: you didn't tell me HE was with you! Don: can we just coming already? Allen: Fine. Blue: um.. hi? Allen: Hello? Don: Blue this is Allen, Allen this is Blue. We good now? Allen: I guess.. Don: good cuz We're being chased by a giant- (the spider crashes through the door and comes in the house) -Spider. Allen: What the donkey shit!? Don: Hide in here! (Don runs into another room and everyone fallows.) Allen: Dude, this is hopes room. Don: So? Allen: She's sleeping... Don: So? Jacob: Don, hope is my little sister, and she takes mercy on no one. Don't wake her up unless you want to die. Don: Noted. Allen: I'll try to wake her up.. I mean someone's gotta worn her about the spider. Don: you sure its not cuz you like her? Allen: Shut up. (Allen walks up to hope as she's sleeping.) Hope, wake up! Hope: Never. Let me sleep forever. (Covers her head with the pillow.) Allen: Get up! There's a man eating spider chasing us. Hope: I'm not in the mood for games! Let me sleep damn it. (The spider suddenly breaks the door and comes into the room.) Don: Fuck. Blue: So, this is how it ends... Jacob: before I die, I Just wanna say, fuck you Allen. Allen: Up yours! Hope: FOR THE LOVE OF BATMAN SHIT! (Hope gets up, locks her fists together and hits the spider as hard as she can, causing green spider goo to go all over the place.) Don: Gross.... Jacob: I think it's in my mouth... Hope: Can I go back to sleep now? -End Category:Episodes